11/07/2006

Brief History, rated R

The following is so rated for language that seemed appropriate to the author and that may be repeated later, in private, on this Election Day. Please disregard (skip it; go ahead) if offended by foulnesses.

Update: I've been told this should be rated R, so have complied.

As I do on Tuesdays while my son audits a Special Relativity class at--where else?--Gutenberg College, I sat inside my comfy van and wrote. I bring along only pen and paper. No distractions. I always get something done, the value of which can be judged later.

Today at one point I started jotting notes regarding history as I know it. Since I was born in 1960, my experience in our world spans four-and-a-half decades so far. Impressions from what I’ve learned about the 50s are included, even though I don’t own their turf.

I’m curious whether or not you think these statements reflect merely clichĂ©s, especially if you’re my age or older. What say you younger folk? Do the threads from my aging brain fit with what you know?

1950s: Read the instructions. Appliances. Tricycles. Coffee houses. Birth control pills. More women enter the workforce.

1960s: Rock music. Assassinations. College protests. Bra burnings. Anti-establishment. Anti-status quo. Question authority. War again. Question the war. Do things differently. Why not? God could be dead. We can have sex. Don’t have to become parents. Why don’t we do it in the road? Everyone could die tomorrow; Russia has the Bomb. Annihilation. Groovy. Mind-altering drugs. Escape to peace. Save the environment from technology. Live in the woods. Fuck the government. Fuck each other. What the fuck.

1970s: Most kids still in two-parent families. Parents breaking up, though, every day. Population going to explode soon. Pollution irreversible. We won’t make it to the next century. Government must change things. Ration gasoline. Produce smaller cars. Everybody work and buy houses. Become political. Abortion is legal. DINK--double income, no kids, better than single income, kids. No-fault divorce. Find yourself on Easy Street.

1980s: How many sex partners you had? Watch out for AIDs. Bash gays or love them. Check your biological clock. Must have babies, now! Become religiously right. Fight abortion. Protect abortion rights. Develop a queer eye. Get a computer game system. Get a computer. Rent a video.

1990s: Get used to right-wing politics. Watch “Touched By An Angel.” Teach your kids to love Bill Clinton: he’s anti-war. Don’t talk about conservatism: it’s a conspiracy led by Rush Limbaugh. Start shopping online. Turn in guns for money. Start checking kids for guns at school. Start homeschooling. Watch “Buffy” and “Angel.” Prepare for Y2K; don’t let your Internet porn go away.

2000s: Rage against polarization. Become diverse. Buy a cell phone. Question the voting system. Rage against terrorists. Don’t attack Iraq. Find, kill Al Qaeda, Bin Laden. Protect birth control and abortion rights for our children. Sing praise songs to Jesus. Feed the hungry--feed and clothe them all! Computerize everything. Fuck everything. Tax everything. Leave God out of everything. Be spiritual.

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