The reason for my previous post

This week I pondered. I wasn't sure I believed it.

Not the possibility of someone writing for joy as opposed to money. I mean, a foundational part of my worldview at present is the idea that God bestows creativity as a gift. To me. To you. It's work and it's fun and it's just there to play with. To worry like a dog with her bone. To keep coming back to, because, hey, I want that.

I pondered, though, the outlandish concept that a man who succeeded in a ginormously commercial sense was simply wailing on his gift. You mean to say, Mr. Prestigious King, you did not set out with a five year plan, or practice eighteen sure-shot techniques each morning in order to realize the finances you desired through writing?

I guess it shouldn't be so hard to swallow, but somehow it is.

And yet if I do believe S. King (I just noticed he has the same initials as Kierkegaard -- kinda spooky), I must travel along a thought path regarding my own ambitions. I say I want to write, I'm at a place in life where I can do so, and I am now regularly writing. I also find myself constantly over-anxious about proving to Tim and the world (and myself) that I'm making progress. Real progress. Which, I guess, would translate into a saleable production of words.

I worry much and often about producing a fully formed structure. I pore over books of similar style and genre to the one I'm writing. I try to make sure I'm doing this in a way everyone might accept.

There's something, though, I often fail to do. In the midst of stressing and striving, I ought be thankful. I get to feel the buzz. Sure, writing, like any other endeavor, is work. But for me it's also a stroll along thought-forest trails. Some days I straggle. I'm frustrated; I go nowhere. Other days I pause in awe at sunlight striking a multi-hued cliff face.

As I excavate deeper, I discover meaning. A new sense emerges of confidence in my own instincts. The goal is not material; it's to reveal with care the tacitly understood. The form of this story exists beneath layers, solid granite in places, but worth going after. Days of Eureka! are awesome days.

Comments